got dem disease of overanalyzation and it’s making it hard to hold a conversation
Life is a fucking roller coaster. The past few months have been so up and down it has driven me right out of my mind. I find myself so back and forth about everything and needing confirmation for every little thing in my life. The anxiety is overwhelming. I want to just sit back and enjoy what’s good in my life right now but that’s difficult to do sometimes. Writing this kind of calms me down.
I want security. I want to know the ins and outs of everything. Everyone tells me that is no way to live my life, but without knowing I go crazy. Maybe its insecurities of mine or maybe its just the way I need to be. A need to be sure of everything going on by the reassurance of everyone around me. That makes me sound needy…
I guess I’m needy.
I try to sit down and reflect on the past year or so. I try to distinguish the good from the bad and what it all means for me currently and in the future. The influence of recent events is evident. But I naturally come up with conclusions and definites even when I know there’s no way to do logically that. There’s no way to be sure of how things are going to pan out or how to prepare for it.
I suppose the only significant advice would be to focus on simplicity. Keeping things simple and straight forward. Focus on clear cut goals and timelines and not stretch my reality and hope to the what-if’s and maybe’s. It’s hard for me to do sometimes because I’m incapable of shutting my head off and not thinking about every little detail all while desperately seeking answers that, truth be told, don’t really mean much of anything.
I think I think too much. I think you think I think too much. I think you think that I think I think too much. And I totally agree.
Simplicity.
Happiness is apparently not a fish you can catch…
